I'd like to see both A Scanner Darkly and Strangers With Candy . In fact, I'd get up out of my chair and go see either one of them right now rather than writing this if I could. But apparently all movies theatres within a 60 mile radius of selfsame chair believe that showing The Adventures of Elmo In Grouchland , The Fast and The Furious III: Tokyo Drift and Waist Deep is really the better path. Now believe me, I'm sure these are fine movies, just fine. In fact, I suspect all three will be nominated for at least one, if not more Academy awards this year, and of course well they should be.

But, look. People with an IQ above 40 need just a little more. My own is 41, so unfortunately I'm just over the edge. I'm fine with the TRUTH eating DARWIN decals and the fat moms in WWE T-shirts and the Confederate flag bandannas and the 10+ support-the-troops decals on the trunk of your Plymouth Horizons, and the NASCAR bobbleheads on your back deck. Really. I am. It's charming. Really. But somehow I suspect that Lil' Bow Wow isn't going to put on a really tour-de-force performance. It's likely I'd be able to get the same effect from watching it on HBO. So, for us only-half-retarded people, it might be better to show movies in movie theaters that cost over ten dollars that are actually any of the following: a) funny, b) good, c) unusual. I'm just saying.