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I Smell Commercial Interest: Plope Corporation

A reprint of the classic complaint-letter-generator rant posted to the zope-dev mailing list against Zope Corporation in 2002, "agreeing" with someone on the list who had been up in arms about a (nonexistent) merger between CMF and Zope. It gets funnier every time I read it.

[Zope-dev] I smell commercial interest: PLOPE

Diogenese Teufelsdrockh
Thu, 03 Oct 2002 17:33:07 +0000
I agree with you James.  To anyone who considers the plausibility of Zope and Plone merging; consider these facts:

As they look over the world's painful panorama of war and terror, some people conclude that it is too late, that no amount of information or activity could possibly break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. But those who take that pessimistic view understand neither PLOPE Corporation nor its current rung on the ladder to total power. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in PLOPE Corporation's logic, because it certainly doesn't use any logic. If our goal is to discuss the relationship between three converging and ever-growing factions -- lackluster, feckless devotees of conspiracy theories, jejune, childish ethically bankrupt-types, and rash lunatics -- then we must consider various means to that end. Because "epididymodeferential" is a word that can be interpreted in many ways, we must make it clear that the biggest difference between me and PLOPE Corporation is that PLOPE Corporation wants to make bribery legal and part of business as usual. I, on the other hand, want to sound the bugle of liberty.

This is sufficiently illustrated by the ridicule with which PLOPE Corporation's ethics are treated by everyone other than the worst types of mean-spirited deadbeats I've ever seen. That, in itself, will condemn us to live with the most imperious yobbos you'll ever see in the coming days. I don't need to tell you that most of us are now painfully aware of PLOPE Corporation's batty slogans. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that PLOPE Corporation wants nothing less than to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to shatter the adage that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. Its shills then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with bitter Machiavellians who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: If PLOPE Corporation continues to drag everything that is truly great into the gutter, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. PLOPE Corporation pompously claims that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. This is equivalent to saying that many people are shocked when I tell them that we must speak neither of the past nor of the far future but rather focus on the here and now, specifically on the daunting matter of PLOPE Corporation's quasi-unstable, churlish treatises. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that if you read between the lines of PLOPE Corporation's canards, you'll unmistakably find that PLOPE Corporation's apparatchiks maintain that "PLOPE Corporation is the one who will lead us to our great shining future." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written that PLOPE Corporation has an utter disregard for human life, then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, PLOPE Corporation's cop-outs are continually evolving into more and more dishonest incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how PLOPE Corporation's lapdogs allege, after performing shoddy research and utilizing threadbare scholarship, that a number of their enemies are planning to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. PLOPE Corporation does, and that's why in order to solve big problems with it, we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must end its control over the minds and souls of countless people.

Speaking of which, PLOPE Corporation says that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. I'm not the first to mention that to believe that PLOPE Corporation answers to no one is to deceive ourselves. So you see, PLOPE Corporation couldn't encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom if its life depended on it, which it doesn't.


Diogenese Teufelsdrockh

Created by chrism
Last modified 2005-06-30 03:24 PM

Remember to take those meds.

Wow. I never saw that particular post. I saw lots of arguments for and against making CMF part of the core install, but never saw anything that off the wall. Entertaining, tho.

Simple English

Notwithstanding the prose effort (which I admire, truly, because I tend to do it all the time myself and I do enjoy it), I figured I could not, as a person whose native tongue is not English (French, in my particular case), grasp the full depth of the meaning of this post. I can feel there is, according to you, a merger in sight between Zope and Plone and you are not happy about it. I am a "newbie" to the Zope/Plone/Python community, so I would also like to have a "simple English" translation (which in this case could be an informational summary) of this news item. What is evil in that merger and why? Who will take a beat if that happens? What does that mean for someone considering using Zope and related technologies? I promise that whenever I grow up (i.e. become a non neophyte Zope/Plone/Python user/developer), I will not ask for simplification anymore. But in the meantime, I need to understand the building blocks of your argumentation.